Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Great Indian Terror Tamasha-"The Unforgettable Tour"

RATING SCALE:

Excellent:*****
Good:****
Above average:***
Tolerable:**
Useless:*

CAST:The members of the newly formed IM(Indian Mujahideen).
DIRECTOR(S): SIMI-Students of Islamic Movement of India.
PRODUCER(S): 1)Hizb ul Mujahideen(HM)
2)Inter Services Intelligence(ISI)
3)Lashkar-e-Taiba/Lashkar-e-Toiba/Lashkar-e-Tayyaba/Lashkar-e-Tayyiba/
Lashkar-i-Taiba (LeT)
4)Al-Qaeda/al-Qaida/al-Qa`ida/al-Qa`idah.
(If there are any other possible combinations known to the above mentioned names of the organisations,the readers are most welcome to enlighten us.)

If the name of any other terrorist organisation has been left out,then the error is seriously regretted as there is severe constraint of space to mention all.A note of apology will be sent to those organisations whose names could not specified here.

PRESENT VENUE: New Delhi
Connaught Place,Greater Kailash M Block market,Ghaffar market in Karol Bagh.
TIME: Began at 6pm as usual on weekends.

The hugely popular theatre play "Great Indian Terror Tamasha" began its much anticipated Delhi-leg of the performance on September 13 after gaining immense notoriety in Hyderabad,Jaipur,Bangalore,Ahmedabad and Surat.They give a stellar performance,leaving you in awe over their power to strike in the one of the most secure cities of the country,the capital!
The play starts as usual like the other cities previously witnessed,at around 6 in the evening on weekends,ensuring a good audience for the play.The play begins with various men going around in the city and planting numerous "low intensity" bombs(a cocktail of ammonium nitrate,gun powder,ball bearings and nails,with timer devices) covered in plastic bags invariably placed in a garbage dump or behind a hoarding.The expertise of making these bombs has only shown that repeated practice leads to better execution and this teaches us that important lesson in life!The USP of the play is the practice of sending the "terror email" either a few minutes before or after the blasts to the local media,teasing the officials to try and stop them which showcases their attempt at black humour.The brouhaha over Kenneth Haywood's unceremonious exit from the country and his eventual return provided a much needed dimension and depth to the play in its previous performance in Ahmedabad, bringing about a touch of technological advancement,which shows that they make sure that they give us their best performance every single time by constantly improving themselves.
This time around the twist in the play came in the form a 11 year old boy who claims to have seen the terrorists.The investigation as usual will reach a dead end but this new development has brought about a much needed sense of suspense though the ending eventually will be the same,that being the terrorists running around scot-free enabling them to prepare to enthrall us once again next time.We sure seem to love them! The Govt as a follow up to their act tightens the security in other cities across the country declaring 'red-alerts' for a few days and then the "SPIRIT" of the affected city is appreciated for living their lives as if absolutely nothing has happened!
Looking at the immense popularity gained by this,certain television productions are toying with the idea of adapting it into the small screen.The possible names for the shows could be "Kyunki Terrorism Bhi Kabhi Shocking Tha" "Kahani Tere Mere Bomb Blast Ki" Some reality TV shows are coming up with the idea of educating the youth about the uses of WiFi.Many new books have arrived on the market on this issue,the recent best seller being "How to Diffuse a Bomb on Your Own-A simple and effective way to diffuse the bombs without the need of the over worked bomb diffusal squad" This book was a instant hit in Surat!
After this recent performance,many big companies are contemplating with the idea of coming up with "Terror" memorabilia which includes various action figures of Osama bin laden,Al Zawahiri etc and guidebooks on how to adjust to various bandhs and curfews.
This shows how terrorism has touched our lives and become an integral part of it.Lets wait and watch for their next mode of action as this "Unforgettable Tour" doesnt seem to be in a hurry to end soon.


RATING:****(there is always scope for further improvement)

Readers can send their comment to apathetic_assholes@socalledtruespirit.com
This article was brought to you by your favourite "Twiddling Thumbs of India(TTI)"

12 comments:

Labyrinthine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Labyrinthine said...

It's hilarious,probably the best terror attack description!!WOW!!I loved the tv shows' names!hehe..keep it up.

The Illuminator said...

We are better off with uneducated maniacs than seasoned actors in our plays. But alas, it was not to be.

The intelligence of the perpetrators reminds me of the Joker. Wonder if he is leading from the front! But where will we find our Batman?

Before I forget, you also could have praised the articulate and crisp dialogues. "We'll strike before you heal from your previous injuries." Enough to create fear psychosis among the spectators.

Great post. You are becoming better by the day..

Pallavi said...

@ ale: thank u :)
@ illuminator: I havent watched the dark knight yet :(

suchitra said...

Hey!!!this surely is one of the best description of the commotion...the cauldron keeps boiling...we just go on as if nothing ever happened...i feel u put ur thoughts in the best way...what you said is very true...we,are not bothered about whys and whats...we are too busy rationalising...and spending our time contemplating....this system needs a serious change in the form of a set back.....great job pallavi!!

Satty said...

hey pallu gr8 job done ra....:)
hey pilla i wud be pleased if u post some remedy to dis prob.....:P!!!!LOL
ya i know u can do it ra :P :d

Phoenix said...

interesting take. USeful humor, and well, sad.

The Illuminator said...

New template..Hurray!Welcome change. The Screamer and The Illuminator are teaming up soon!

Pallavi said...

Yes,I am aware of that..I'm eagerly awaiting the collaborative creation..it better be good!

Aditya said...

hey the post was awesome, seriously but then i think there was one invalid information that you gave, i sent my brickbats to the id that you gave and the mail is bouncing, please look into it...this is not a part of letters to the editor...

Pallavi said...

Oh we have registered your query,we shall get back to it as soon as we are done whiling our time away doing nothing.So please have unrealistic amounts of patience as the situation always demands it.

-Your ever idle TTI reporter.

suchitra said...

now u check out..i did post...