The Great Indian Terror Tamasha-"The Unforgettable Tour"

RATING SCALE:

Excellent:*****
Good:****
Above average:***
Tolerable:**
Useless:*

CAST:The members of the newly formed IM(Indian Mujahideen).
DIRECTOR(S): SIMI-Students of Islamic Movement of India.
PRODUCER(S): 1)Hizb ul Mujahideen(HM)
2)Inter Services Intelligence(ISI)
3)Lashkar-e-Taiba/Lashkar-e-Toiba/Lashkar-e-Tayyaba/Lashkar-e-Tayyiba/
Lashkar-i-Taiba (LeT)
4)Al-Qaeda/al-Qaida/al-Qa`ida/al-Qa`idah.
(If there are any other possible combinations known to the above mentioned names of the organisations,the readers are most welcome to enlighten us.)

If the name of any other terrorist organisation has been left out,then the error is seriously regretted as there is severe constraint of space to mention all.A note of apology will be sent to those organisations whose names could not specified here.

PRESENT VENUE: New Delhi
Connaught Place,Greater Kailash M Block market,Ghaffar market in Karol Bagh.
TIME: Began at 6pm as usual on weekends.

The hugely popular theatre play "Great Indian Terror Tamasha" began its much anticipated Delhi-leg of the performance on September 13 after gaining immense notoriety in Hyderabad,Jaipur,Bangalore,Ahmedabad and Surat.They give a stellar performance,leaving you in awe over their power to strike in the one of the most secure cities of the country,the capital!
The play starts as usual like the other cities previously witnessed,at around 6 in the evening on weekends,ensuring a good audience for the play.The play begins with various men going around in the city and planting numerous "low intensity" bombs(a cocktail of ammonium nitrate,gun powder,ball bearings and nails,with timer devices) covered in plastic bags invariably placed in a garbage dump or behind a hoarding.The expertise of making these bombs has only shown that repeated practice leads to better execution and this teaches us that important lesson in life!The USP of the play is the practice of sending the "terror email" either a few minutes before or after the blasts to the local media,teasing the officials to try and stop them which showcases their attempt at black humour.The brouhaha over Kenneth Haywood's unceremonious exit from the country and his eventual return provided a much needed dimension and depth to the play in its previous performance in Ahmedabad, bringing about a touch of technological advancement,which shows that they make sure that they give us their best performance every single time by constantly improving themselves.
This time around the twist in the play came in the form a 11 year old boy who claims to have seen the terrorists.The investigation as usual will reach a dead end but this new development has brought about a much needed sense of suspense though the ending eventually will be the same,that being the terrorists running around scot-free enabling them to prepare to enthrall us once again next time.We sure seem to love them! The Govt as a follow up to their act tightens the security in other cities across the country declaring 'red-alerts' for a few days and then the "SPIRIT" of the affected city is appreciated for living their lives as if absolutely nothing has happened!
Looking at the immense popularity gained by this,certain television productions are toying with the idea of adapting it into the small screen.The possible names for the shows could be "Kyunki Terrorism Bhi Kabhi Shocking Tha" "Kahani Tere Mere Bomb Blast Ki" Some reality TV shows are coming up with the idea of educating the youth about the uses of WiFi.Many new books have arrived on the market on this issue,the recent best seller being "How to Diffuse a Bomb on Your Own-A simple and effective way to diffuse the bombs without the need of the over worked bomb diffusal squad" This book was a instant hit in Surat!
After this recent performance,many big companies are contemplating with the idea of coming up with "Terror" memorabilia which includes various action figures of Osama bin laden,Al Zawahiri etc and guidebooks on how to adjust to various bandhs and curfews.
This shows how terrorism has touched our lives and become an integral part of it.Lets wait and watch for their next mode of action as this "Unforgettable Tour" doesnt seem to be in a hurry to end soon.


RATING:****(there is always scope for further improvement)

Readers can send their comment to apathetic_assholes@socalledtruespirit.com
This article was brought to you by your favourite "Twiddling Thumbs of India(TTI)"

Who Am I? Or Rather..What Am I?

I was asked this very interesting question yesterday which required me to identify myself with a particular object..it could be anything from the clear blue sky,the sea,a diary to a humble pani puri..It was a very innocent question but unfortunately I dint have an easy answer at that time..
It opened up a gamut of possibilities in my mind,a very enjoyable experience,as I had to find something analogous to my personality..Trying to achieve this is a little tough as you are required to find similitude between something palpable from the physical world and something as intangible as someone's persona.But I think I fairly succeeded when the answer dawned upon me this evening..
What I identify with is the "Rain forest".Well technically its not a single thing but I shall take that liberty as I've considered the entire forest as a single entity.
Now I shall attempt at drawing parallels between the rainforest and myself:
When you take a bird's-eye view of the rain forest what do you see? You'll see a vast expanse of land covered with lush green trees spread over thousands of miles..there is only one dominant colour-Green.But only when you take the pain of exploring it,you realise that there are many more things hidden inside that vast green facade..there are many exotic animals,,rivers flowing,,insects and birds thriving etc etc.There are many undiscovered species too.
Its very much the same with me..if you dont know me personally,you will draw your own conclusions about me based on which facet of my personality you've seen,conveniently labelling me as "aloof,sombre or snobbish." I get that a lot.Probe a little more and you'll realise there are more things to me than just that,a fact most of my friends will vouch for..
But everything is not always hunky-dory with rainforests.There are instances when they were totally devasted with forest fires or subjected to massive deforestation.But even after a devasting forest fire which might have wiped out the whole forest,with time the entire forest resurrects itself.Only this time there might be new trees and new species as well,a sign of evolution.
I have faced situations in life akin to forest fires but that has only made me a better person,someone who changes with time but at the same time retains her identity.
My answer might change from rainforest to something else if posed with same question 10 years from now in the future as the adage goes"Only thing constant in this world is change" and I couldnt agree more.

The 'Nosy' Nose..

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaachoooooooooo!!!!" n there goes my 115th tissue to the bin..infact the tissue paper making industry will reap in huge profits this week thanks to me,for I succesfully emptied 2 full boxes of tissues in 2 days.
Yep you guessed it right..I have a cold and its a nasty one which is driving me nuts!!!!Your whole world goes topsy turvy once you catch a cold..no matter what you do (read steaming,taking a wide variety of medicines etc etc) the virus that has invaded your system refuses to budge..meanwhile you are left with a dull headache,watering eyes and a nose over which you have lost control over totally,I think its the nose's way of exerting its importance coz normally one wouldnt really bother about it.I would go on to the extent of saying that its one of the most neglected part of the human body that is until it decides to show its significance very violently through a cold!
All of a sudden your whole life starts to revolve around the whims of your nose which now assumes a silly red colour thanks to all the sneezing.It feels all irritable and itchy inside which mostly manifests itself in the form of a loud sneeze..it can be disconcerting when something serious is being discussed(like today when the whole class turned to look at me when I sneezed at a very crucial point in the lecture) The worst part is when your food starts tasting like paper-mache..that's the cold's most lethal weapon!You lose your sense of taste!!The tragedy!!:(
The cold's modus operandi is simple-drive the person insane and it succeeds very beautifully as my writing on this subject is a very powerful evidence of that.
Before i get into another fit of sneezes again I shall end it..Last time I sneezed for 10 full minutes at a stretch much to the amusement of my brother who extracts a great deal of pleasure in counting the number of times I sneeze in a minute..
It wouldnt be an exagerration to say "I've been knocked out'COLD'" :(

Borrowed Decisions

"What is it that you want to become when you grow up? Someone asked me this question for the first time in class 2.. It so happened that I had painted a nice fish in the art class that day for which I got 3 stars and I was mighty pleased with myself. So I said "Painter" without batting an eyelid,not realising that such a career option would be considered nothing less than blasphemy later on in life..
I distinctly remember some of my classmates giving equally,if not more, interesting answers like 'Sailor','Magician','Florist'etc etc..There were some who wanted to become 'Superman' or 'He-man' and there were some girls who were fascinated with barbie dolls and wanted to own a house like one of those doll houses(I admit,even I was crazy abt dolls then.)
So you see..even though some of the answers given were absolutely ridiculous,no one objected coz we were just kids and the answers given were something which were very honest and our own.
Yesterday,after I had just finished my dance class and was on my way out, a little girl stopped me(she's the sister of one of the students in my class)she me gave a toffee,I smilingly accepted and thanked her.Then she asked me "Are you in college?"
I replied in the affirmative.She smiled and then asked " Are you studying in Sri Chaitanya college or Narayana college?Have you finished your BiPC?" (that's bio,physics,chem) I was surprised that she knew about it because she was hardly 6 years old.I told her that I had finished it long time ago and I was presently doing BSc.She had a puzzled look on her face and then asked me "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I was amused at her innocent question and said 'Scientist'.She got even more confused.Now I asked her what she would want to become when she grew up,she said mechanically 'doctor' I asked her why had she made that choice and she said "Because my sister is doing BiPC too and I want to be like her"
All the way back home I was wondering about that little girl and was remembering the day when I was first asked this question..and then I recalled my days as a student in intermediate when I was taken into the "MBBS-Engineer" phenomenon.I was told back then that life is not worth living if you are not a doctor after taking up BiPC.Those days were hard,I experienced some of my darkest moments then.But I ultimately realised that medicine was not the thing for me and the rest they say is history.
I may not be succesful yet but I know I will be happy in my chosen vocation.The decisions I make,whether right or wrong,will be mine and mine alone.I hope the same for the little girl too.